What thing you have or have done that you are really proud of?
Some people may find it pretty easy to answer this question. However, I have heard many say that this is really hard to answer, and some of them can’t even come up with anything to share. I, myself, find this question really hard to answer.
There are not many things I’m proud of in my life. Not that I don’t have any accomplishment, I do. Many of them just don’t bring me the feeling of fulfillment, of being alive. How can I be proud without those feelings?
So with that said, I set a period of free time that I did absolutely and had a trip back to my past. The aim of this trip is clear: to find the moments I felt alive! The trip was hard and ended up taking much longer than expected, but I had what I was looking for.
- Living to create
There is one thing that always bring me joy and the feeling of fulfillment, and it is creating new things, especially stories. This one related to one thing I believe I have: Imagination.
I always have an imaginative mind, and I realize that I’m so proud of it. This ability, in short, means that I can vividly visualize things in my mind as if I’m seeing, hearing and feeling them. It can be a vision, picture, or video, you name it. You describe something, I have a story of it in my mind. Something interesting catch my eyes/ears, I also have a story for it.
This ability is scary to me, too. One problem is that I can’t really control this ability. My mind always create stories and visions, sometimes about things that are not even related to anything around me at all. This is quite troublesome because whenever I do something and find out that it’s too boring, my mind will immediately switch to a vision of something else and it’s really hard to refocus. Another thing is that when I’m in my world of imagination (like, you know, let my mind go free), it’s quite easy to lose myself in there, and it’s pretty annoying.
Whatever it is, I like the feeling of letting my imagination run free each time I create something. It maybe things that have a purpose: video clips, slides for my club and my class, poems for my homework, or a story to tell. It may also be things that I don’t know what to do with it yet, or things I make just for fun like: a new kind of boat from my old Lego set, a fiction story (I made quite a lot of this), or a drawing. Each time I do any of this, even though things always get stuck on the way, I feel so alive, so fulfilled, and so proud that I can do it.
- Living to share
I like sharing, and sometimes I did get thanks for doing it, you can read a bit more in my previous post here. I’m proud that I do sharing with people.
Sharing information and knowledge I have always make me feel alive. I don’t really sure where the feeling come from though, but I do enjoy it. Maybe it’s just the feeling when you find out that you can help somebody in some ways, even though you are not someone with exceptionally intelligent mind. I don’t have that mind, and I’m far from being an expert of anything, but I share what I know.
Furthermore, sharing is a chance to relearn and reconfirm the information you have. So, why not?
- Running a finale
Okay, so enough with things people don’t even know and sharing stuffs, here is something people can see, quite a lot of people.
When I was in the university, I worked in my school’s English club. We had an annual contest each year to help students try out the MC career path. In my third year, I was assigned to be in charge of the technical part of the show. It was quite a challenge to me but I knew I could do it. We prepared weeks before the finale, practice everything and be ready. In the show, everything ran not quite smoothly as we expected but nothing serious happened. All of that time, my mind was always in full-out mode.
In that state of mind, somehow I found my mind was clear, and I felt that I was really alive at that time. And that feeling exploded into joy and fulfillment at the end of the show, the moment of “we did it!” as our two MCs said goodbye in handclaps of nearly a thousand audiences.
I was so proud of my club, my team and myself.
So those’re all I have in my trip to the past. How about you? If you find the question up there really hard or you can’t answer it at all, maybe it’s just because you haven’t dig deep enough into yourself. Things you’re proud of don’t have to be something big, it don’t have to be something that other people see. It can be something you have that when doing/using/having it, you feel that you are truly you, and you are truly living this life. Maybe a small trip into the past is what you need. Give it a try, I’m sure it can help you!
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Thank you for reading!